Resistance

Today’s drawing of Mary Magdalene

I feel a lot of love for my school. While I’m there, I’m 100% there. I work straight through the day, and I never doubt that I have done some good in the world. I’m part of something truly beautiful and significant. And even though I miss the silence and peace of my studio, I have to accept that there is something beyond a paycheck that makes me stay and do the best I can. I have great days and terrible days. Mostly fine days. I love the people there, and the principal is one of the best leaders I have ever met. And I sometimes want to leave it all, but can’t. Something always stops me. Sometimes myself, sometimes an external block. And I need to consider that this something might be important. That it might be a test (as I often think) or a gift (as I never think.)

Sometimes, when we feel trapped by a situation that we also love we must ask: Is what I’m resisting what I actually need? Is this simply what I wished for one day, and received?

If I follow the teachings that Mary Magdalene has given me through all these books I write about in this blog and more, then I am, right now, where I need to be. Because otherwise I would be somewhere else.

I have some things to figure out:

How do I erase the exhaustion and live a new day after 4pm?

How do I use my time off to create more and better?

How do I move freely through my work day with confidence in my knowledge?

When living a situation that we resist, but that is not necessarily bad, maybe we can consider how our current life situation contains the wishes of the past. And as we recognize those past desires, we can also consider what made us wish for them. Going back is never an option, but appreciating the hidden gifts that we have received without even noticing, is a beautiful possibility.