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Painting Dreams

After the Mary Magdalene Celebration, I was exhausted and sad for a few hours. And then the love started pouring in. People called me to let me know how much they enjoyed. All the details I had been worrying about had not been as bad as I thought. My mood transformed, and I realized that my goal had been accomplished, and that people had received the work as I had intended. We had at least 100 people in the theater, and about 30 online during the workshops. Considering I had announced the workshops a week before, and that it had started pouring rain at the time of the event, filling the theater was a huge success. I got a little scared thinking of what it would have been like if it had not rained...

As a result of this work of passion and faith, I felt transformed. The energy began growing, my reality began shaping itself to me when all this time it had been the opposite. Ideas started flowing and courage emerged.

I started planning next year's celebration, asked for a bigger space and for the walls of that space to be empty in order to put up a large collective exhibition, and I also bought a one-way ticket to go to Puerto Rico and work in my studio there (one way sounds impressive, but I will be returning to New York later in August :) )

I did all this immediately because I need the energy to keep flowing. Because I have a great desire, a great dream. It's not such a difficult dream. It's simple. I want to be the owner of my time again, I want to be in my little pink house and paint Mary Magdalene, invite people over, write and create every day, plant a garden, rest and work and also enjoy life. I want to wake up each morning in bliss because I'm living the life I've envisioned, a life immersed in love and connection through the act of creation.

Dr. Jenny Martin, one of the guests of the Mary Magdalene Celebration, said in one of her profound talks that when you have a desire you should ask the Magdalene directly: "I really have a desire for ... please help me..." Her words were a little different, but the idea is to express your desire, ask for help, and be ready to receive it.

I had a deep desire to paint in my studio in Puerto Rico. To wake up to the silence, and the colors of the morning sky. To not owe my time to anyone but myself.

I actually bought the ticket before asking anyone if I could work remotely... but in my heart, I asked. I needed to feel the freedom that I want to live every day, so I took the step that symbolizes that freedom for me.

I sent the art supplies by mail today. On Monday night, I will start my dream "vacation." I feel immense relief throughout my body. I hope the Magdalene helps me paint her as beautiful as possible.


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Tanya Torres  
Art for Love, Peace and Joy

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