Imperfection

Yesterday’s drawing of Mary Magdalene, today…

I couldn’t believe that yesterday… I forgot.

It’s the first time I fail in my daily drawing and writing commitment since the beginning of the year.

I had actually written all day and then a friend came to visit. Just as I was getting started I remembered that I had left my laundry in the washing machines for 8 hours, so I practically ran to take care of that. And then, because my routine changed, my mind thought I was done. And today, I suspected I may not have published yesterday, but couldn’t believe it.

and when I checked… I had to accept imperfection!

That has been a life long struggle, in a way. And something worth writing about.

When I was sick with Hodgkin's Lymphoma, I read a list in a Louise Hay’s book that listed the origins of illnesses. Can you guess what the origin of Hodgkin's Lymphoma was according to Louise Hay? Perfectionism.

Ever since then, I have been attentive to my perfectionist inclinations. I definitely don’t want to get sick again. So I always make it a conscious choice to accept that it is better to complete something and improve it later, that to never complete it because it isn’t perfect.

That has been evident for me in my nightly drawings for Mary Magdalene. Sometimes the Magdalene doesn’t look her best! Sometimes I can’t finish a drawing as much as I would like because I run out of time and I need to sleep. And still, I continue because it’s not about perfection but about commitment.

Last night I failed, and I have to accept that it might happen, but today, I made 3 drawings. I will give 2 to yesterday, and start over, as many times as it takes.