An Act of Freedom

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Delia, one of the Madrinas of the Mary Magdalene Celebration, texted me this week to ask me if I was doing anything this year. The answer was and is yes, but it will be different. I don’t yet know what I will do, although I have been thinking about it.

The reason why I decided to change format is, basically, because I have changed. My physical reality has changed, which leads to mental change. In the past, I was part of a community, of a place. Now that I have moved, it’s much harder to create events so far away and so disconnected from the space itself.

Life has changed for me. My friends have also moved away, and we have grown older. The Magdalene that calls to me today is the one that, after much suffering and learning, emerges wiser and fully human, as her gospel inspires us to evolve.

In the Apocryphal stories, Mary Magdalene is a leader, a teacher, a person in contemplation of life. And this is what I have had to become in my daily life, in the work I do every day. And as I contemplate life, I look forward to the transformations I envision. I live in the Magdalene’s cave, where she prays and lives in profound connection with the Divine. I am standing in a liminal space that may lead to a new reality, if I can learn the next lessons she offers.

When I look back to those years of discovering Mary Magdalene, and studying everything that came into my hands, I feel grateful for the inspiration and guidance, so nourishing and crucial to my life. These many readings, lessons and thoughts that unveiled then, are the pillars that support my “mundane” work today. Mundane and also sacred, as I have an opportunity to impact lives and contribute to a greater cause.

I’ve had days of intense inner turmoil, when I didn’t accept this present. Because the gift of impacting lives sometimes weights me with great exhaustion and depletion. And these moments come and go, but lately, just recently, I saw it all could be different. What if, like Mary Magdalene, I gave myself the task of acceptance and conscious inner growth that could place me firmly in a present that contains both the past and the future, a present that is a bridge and a destination at the same time.

That thought gave me peace. Although I don’t know exactly how to apply it yet.

And now I must develop a new celebration, one that accommodates that person who needs something different.

Among all the possibilities, I seek the most simple one. Simple, beautiful and nourishing. Something creative, something that takes away the heaviness of normal life, and lifts our spirit. Like a simple line drawing or a beautiful color. The minimal expression of a powerful action. An act of freedom.