Forgiveness

5 days ago
3 min read

It’s time to draw another card from the Magdalene Muses deck. Patti’s writings are always a little balm to the soul.

I’m having a wonderful day, my studio is full of sunlight and my heart is full of joy. I am remembering old times because a friend is visiting soon, and we are presenting our books together. She shared an old beautiful photo. It is us, with a third friend, in a place that no longer exists, but that remains important in our history as friends and artists.

My friend, Verónica, gave me, back then, the most beautiful gift. She told me: “I will never be angry at you. You can mistreat me and insult me, you can do anything, and I will always love you.”

She said that, and she changed my life.

She said it at a time when I was facing the challenge I imagine all people who see themselves in leadership roles experience. It seemed everyone had something bad to say about me, about something I had done wrong, or to them. Something I had no idea I had done or even knew about. People would get upset, have a tantrum and break our friendship, and I would be left devastated without understanding what had happened. I was especially sensitive at the time. I was going through cancer treatments and very vulnerable in my being. And after that, I felt even more vulnerable, unsure of how to step back into living.

And Verónica said those healing words, for which I am forever grateful.

Because her words shaped my view of life and forgiveness. They taught me that I did not have to hurt or hurt back. Her words taught me how to see relationships and how to see myself from the perspective of radical forgiveness. Immediate forgiveness for a perceived wrong.

I am referring to those wrongs that are easier to forgive, of course. They still hurt, and for an immature mind, they may become enormous in their effect.

But what if love is greater, what if we think beyond and see the hurt behind the hurt. What could be happening to a person who decided to hurt you without reason, (at least from your perspective)? And the truth is, I haven’t gone through any situation above those forgivable hurts. Although it’s also true that the now seemingly small hurts were huge in my heart back then.

Years later, after receiving these words from my friend, I began learning about Mary Magdalene. Through years of spiritual readings, I discovered that forgiveness is one of the most important states we can aspire to achieve. Forgiveness of others and forgiveness of oneself.

That’s the tricky part about forgiveness. We secretly may feel guilt: for someone or something to treat us so badly, we must have done something wrong and unforgivable. And even when we don’t consciously remember having acted with bad intentions, there is that unconscious sensation of guilt for what we might have done that we don’t know we did.

And then, until we learn that forgiveness starts with forgiving oneself, and when we are able to say to ourselves: “I will never be angry at you. You can mistreat me and insult me, you can do anything, and I will always love you,” only then will we start to liberate our mind and our heart into the love and acceptance that we all deserve.

In the Magdalene Muses card, Patti wrote: “I forgive and let go.”

And with letting go, we make space for the future, for the new and the wonderful, space that opens in one’s being after dropping “the heavy burden you are carrying.”

I often ask myself: Is there anything I need to forgive? Because those little hurts are tricky and accumulate, persistently hiding from us behind our shadows.

The clearing is never fully done, I suppose. But as we remain conscious and aware of the possibility to choose forgiveness as much as we can, we will continue to open space in our hearts for the fruits of our growth.