Offering Ourselves

Today’s drawing of Mary Magdalene

When we read about Mary Magdalene we learn about a person who lived in community, who expressed herself and knew how to listen. She listened to Jesus, and was eager to grow in spirit. She developed friendships. In some stories she went to the South of France and she preached. Another story tells us that she went to live with Mary the Mother in Ephesus. In the Bible story, she went to Jesus’ tomb with her friends, the other Marys. From all these stories, we get the sense of the support of a community. She may have retired to a cave in the end, but there she was visited by angels. She lived in communion even when she retired!

I recently went to a retirement workshop in my job. It was super, but it was very interesting for unexpected reasons. Someone mentioned that some people retire and then go back to work because they don’t know what to do with themselves once they lose the routine of a job.

A great part of retirement success, in my view, has to do with what we do before retiring. While money is always important, a person can find ways to live with less and enjoy life fully. The greatest challenge for many retired people has more to do with the relationships they are able to keep, start, and grow once they don’t go to a regular job anymore.

Life has become lonely. It is hard to communicate deeply with people. Very often, when out with a friend or family member, we notice how conversations are interrupted by messages and technology. One can often find that the space of time that it takes someone to text back turns so long that we end up reaching for our own phone, or simply disconnecting.

Thankfully, not everyone has fallen into the trap of distraction. There are still people with the ability to listen, empathize, and connect. These precious abilities seem more and more like superpowers these days. It takes strength, decision and commitment to friendship to be able to dedicate real time and attention to another human being.

I believe that this strength comes from a cultivation of the soul. To care, we need to remain conscious and aware of the humanity of others. We need to look at relationships with compassion and see beyond the character into the heart of the person that is in front of us.

The most connected retired people I have known, have a quality that distinguishes them and keeps them present and relevant in other people’s lives. They take the first step. They call, they invite, they open spaces for others to join them in living. They engage in their interests and pass on their wisdom. They grow in spirit.

Each stage of life has it’s challenges. What we do every day and how we do it, how we care and engage, builds us up for the future. The best we have to offer is ourselves.